Shetlands Packing — An analytical way to plan out your packing list

What do you take with you when you travel? What do you take on a motorcycle trip?

I am trying to answer this question. My challenges? I do not like bags on my bike. So I am going to be an absolute geek and apply Moscow Analysis tools to my hobby!

As a kid, I used to pack everything (not just the kitchen sink, but also spares for it). It made travelling quite entertaining for my parents. To be fair though, I carried on being like that until I started working. Years later, I was staying in hotels and doing overnight or multi-day stays more than I cared to think of. Yeah, at first it is a novelty; it then becomes a reality.

You start by packing every convenience you may need. Your work stuff, your personal laptop, chargers, your tablet, all your toiletries, spare clothes, maybe your water bottle too! Years later, I’ve gotten to the point where I can do an overnight stay out of my normal work backpack (and still be presentable and civil the following day). It all comes down to priorities and repurposing items. I’ve even gotten to the point where I can do city breaks and weekend flights with only a small piece of hand luggage on a plane. Should it be any different on the bike? Let’s see.

Let’s use a tool that may be known to some, a Moscow Analysis; let’s have a look at Must Have, Should Have, Could Have and Would Have items.

First off — what is my objective? What does my packing need to give me? Let’s say it’s to accomplish a week away with a modicum of convenience. Every item will be judged in terms of how much they contribute towards the trip/convenience against how much they weigh/space they take up.

Must Have

Stuff you cannot accomplish the trip without, so stuff like your bike keys, wallet for petrol and food, phone for rescue, satnav for directions. A charging adapter to plug the phone into the bike’s electrical socket to keep it going and the relevant USB cable. Technically speaking, that’s enough to survive a week away. It won’t be cheap, and it won’t be efficient, but it could be done. This is where the “modicum of convenience” comes in — buying new clothes or washing my clothes every day is not convenient.

What about the clothes then? What are they for? When you boil it down to basics, we wear clothes for social decency, hygiene, comfort and protection. On that basis, for six nights away, that comes to a pair of underwear per day as they tick each of those requirements. Next up, a bike specific requirement — underlayers! I need something to make perspiration management feasible under heavy bike gear. From experience, merino and/or bamboo is comfortable, keeps you dry and is great at managing odours. They also pack down really small, so even though I could get away with only one pair for the week, I will take three pairs and swap them every other day. These layers are the most critical way to hit my decency (odour), hygiene (bacteria), comfort (not sticky or wet) and protection (allows to stay warm) with the best space-to-benefit ratio possible. A bit much? Maybe, but these form the basis of the other clothes, and their performance allows me to forego other elements of clothes (read on). So, taking more underlayers means fewer overlayers.

Next up. Do I need six pairs of trousers? No. I can hit decency, hygiene, comfort and protection with only an extra pair of jeans. Why? I only need to wear the jeans for dinner at hotels. The rest of the time, I will be wearing bike gear.. and the bike gear will be kept from getting smelly thanks to the underlayers (see?). So one pair of jeans over six days can be done (Remember, we are looking at MUST haves). Six t-shirts? Overkill. One? Criminal. Let’s say three, as they will be worn over a base layer (see?). Worst case, I can give them a quick rinse in the evening. So… three t-shirts, not made of cotton (easier to dry) and relying on the good underlayers (see?) to not get the t-shirts too stinky. Avoid polypropylene tops, as these will stink no matter what you do. Look into lightweight non-synthetic materials? Let’s see what I find. It’ll be May/June, do I need a hoodie? Hmmmmm… It’s not a Must Have, I can always go to dinner with my motorcycle mid-layer on, if it’s nippy. Plus, with the underlayers, I can keep warm more easily (see?). It’ll look dorky, but what the heck.

Should Have

These are items that make accomplishing your objective easier, but are not critical to the completion of the task. What can help me complete the journey in convenience?

Things that come to mind are things to keep me going. Drink, toiletries, pyjama, maps, bike chain, disc lock, ferry straps, wall charger, kindle, headphones, shower gel, shaver, extra shoes.

Drink — I am thinking camelbak. Why? It saves me stopping to buy liquids, is constantly accessible and allows me to sip continuously rather than gulping intermittently. It sits unobtrusively on my back, and comes with the added benefit of giving extra storage space for snacks, a first aid kit and other odds and sods. The harness makes it sit very close to the body. As a space-to-convenience proposition, it’s a win-win.

Toiletries — shaving oil, aftershave, scrub, brush, shower gel, towel, etc. This is where I am going to be heretical, and say none of that is needed. I can forego all the shaving for a week with no problem — no hit on doing the trip or the convenience; I will be staying at hotels and using the complimentary bottles of shampoo and towels.. I am not fussy enough to care.

Pyjama — seriously?

Maps — OK, call me whatever you want to call me, but I won’t pretend that I will navigate off a map. I have a sat nav AND a phone; the phone will have offline maps. I even have an emergency phone, for crying out loud.

Bike chain — normally I’d say yes. If the bike is stolen, I won’t be able to finish the trip… but with an overarching objective of keeping storage down, you question something big and heavy against its benefits. I am going to the Orkneys and Shetlands, where the risk profile of the area does not suggest a chain is needed. So let’s forego the heavy chain in favour of two tiny disc locks with 120dB sirens and motion triggers. Along with the steering lock, tracker, immobiliser and alarm, the remote nature of where I am staying will work to de-risk the situation.

Ferry straps — convenience v weight. They weigh nothing and avoid the bike falling over on the ferry. No brainer.

Wall charger — small volume, high convenience and lets me use my phone in the hotel room, plus charge my helmet.

Kindle — hmmmmmmm! Does it take up much space? No. Is it heavy? No. Does it add convenience? Yes. BUT is it necessary? No. Why? I can do the same reading on my phone. Let’s downgrade it to Could Have. For now, it’s a no though.

Headphones — they take up nearly no space and allow me to watch stuff in the hotel. Space v convenience proposition passed.

Shaver — awkward shape to pack. I can survive happily without shaving for a week. Leave it at home.

Extra shoes — oooh, humans are weird. It’s very easy to be miserable in ill-fitting or inappropriate shoes. Wearing armoured motorcycle boots for an entire week may be a bit much. So the shoes will pass the test IF I take very lightweight canvas/cotton shoes, used for hotel roaming duties. Bonus: you can roll your t-shirts and boxers in each shoe, so they take up almost no space.

This takes care of our should haves… A camelbak, a disc lock, ferry straps, a wall charger, headphones and shoes. I can easily accomplish the trip with none of these items, but they have a tangible added value to the trip.

Could Have

These are items that add to the enjoyment of the trip. I’d still have a hell of a time without them, but they might or might not have their moment to shine at some point in the trip. What have we got?

Camera — it would be nice to take it. I will take it if there is space in the bags, but I will not base my choice of bags on this item.

Laptop/tablet — it might be nice to use a bigger screen in the evenings. However, I can more than make do on the phone. Same rationale as the camera, but even lower priority than the camera.

Would Have

I have genuinely run out of stuff I’d care to take.

Now what?

So there you have it! That’s how I identify what I need for six days away on the bike! What I have not included are the bike-specific items that I would not be without, listed below:

First aid kit

Tyre puncture kit

Tyre inflator

Basic toolkit

Spare bike gloves

Neck buff

Spare neck buff

Spare bike key

Spare ear plugs

Emergency phone

Emergency powerbank

Where to store everything

So here is the next part of the picture. WHERE do I put everything?

I break it down in four layers: personal storage, outwear storage, bike storage, luggage storage.

The closer to your person the storage, the more critical the item. It sort of relates to the must/could/should, but it’s a bit more focused on immediate need. Think of it this way: if you are stuck in the middle of nowhere with no bags, no bike and no bike gear, have you got what you need to get out of a jam? Anything that answers that immediate need goes in your personal storage; think trousers and top.

Outerwear storage adds the bike jacket to your arsenal, something you are very unlikely to “lose”… you might leave it behind or lose sight of it at a stop though, which is why it is not personal storage.

We then move to bike storage — stuff that is in/on the bike. You are unlikely to be far from the bike on this trip, so there will be stuff on it to help you out for specific bike-centric situations.

Lastly, we have the luggage — the easiest thing to lose/damage/have stolen.

How do we break things down then?

Personal Storage

Phone, wallet, documents, bike key (and spare key), spare undergloves, spare neck buff. I can get out of most shit with these items. I might get cold or uncomfortable, but I’ll get to safety. The spare underlayer bits are on me just because they pack small in the cargo pockets of my trousers.

Outerwear Storage

Ear plugs and spare ear plugs, emergency phone, emergency powerbank, visor cleaner, lock keys, small snack. If we count the storage given by the camelbak, let’s include sunglasses, first aid kit, charging cables, charging adapter and a small snack. Why am I including the camelbak here? Because it’s so unobtrusive, that I will wear this all day until I take the jacket off.

Bike Storage

Stuff hiding in/on the bike specifically meant to help with bike-centric issues. Satnav, small first aid kit, tool kit and puncture kit. I would include the tyre inflator, but it doesn’t fit in/on the bike.

Luggage Storage

This is all stuff I do not need to safely get to a destination, so I could afford to be separated from them. 6x pairs of boxers, 3x t-shirts, 1x pair of shoes, 2x sets of underlayers, headphones, wall charger, disc locks, ferry straps, spare motorcycle gloves, tyre inflator and space for lunch food.

So what does this translate to? I hate tank bags, so definitely not a tank bag. A tail bag? I dislike them. Looking at the amount of stuff, I can get away with two 12L soft saddlebags. The question is whether I will have space for the camera, but nothing a dry run can’t answer. I also need to make sure I leave some space to pack lunch somewhere in the bags.

What does all this tell me? It tells me I can do an entire week on the bike with just a set of soft saddlebags dropped over the tail of the bike. I can then take them to the hotel or ferry room in the evenings and not be overburdened by stuff I carry. Great!