Ready for my longest trip yet

So here it goes.

When I was a kid, about 13… 2004?!?… I decided I wanted to get into bikes. I don’t think that needs explaining.

The late ’90s and early ’00s were the years of the true Internet. Pure freedom of thought, a lot of experimentation, and a lot of diverse platforms and areas to learn about the world. Rose tinted glasses you say? Fuck you, I say. But anyways, I was using the Internet to learn more about life on a bike, what it was like, what you could do and inevitably stumbled on the Iron Butt write ups.

These were done by people that would get on a bike, ride 1,000–2,000 miles in 24–36 hours and then write up about it for the world to read. There were dozens of reports — and I gobbled them all up. Repeatedly.

I would spend time planning fantasy Iron Butt rides and planning the kit, the route, the training and the events to consider. Granted, these rides were mostly in the US where it is *a lot* easier to do 1,000 miles in 24 hours. I lived in Italy at the time and later on moved in the UK, so once I started driving I soon realised that things may be different here.

But the dream lived nonetheless. As soon as I got my bike, I started building up stamina and endurance for long days, heavy miles, and both. I started getting involved in whatever mild rallies I could find, or just get on the bike at 4AM, pick a direction, and come home for 8PM.

Last year, I took part in the Royal British Legion Rally 500 mile run. The event is run by the Iron Butt UK branch, where they offer four pre-verified 1,000 mile SaddleSore routes or two 500mi routes. The 500mi run was a taster of what an Iron Butt would be like. By the end of it, when I returned to the Rally HQ with my buddy, I looked at him and said, “Right. Now imagine getting back on the bike and doing this all over again.” We both groaned and went “yeah, fuck that”. However that is a bit unfair — the 500 mile rally was an *amazing* ensemble of twisty, curvy and demanding roads, which we took on at a good pace. A 1,000mi route is geared more towards a marathon with a much more relaxed pace and smoother roads. Once I took that into account, I made my mind up.

I was finally doing an Iron Butt SaddleSore. So I signed up for the RBLR1000 run for June 2022.

And now it’s May 2022, with things starting to feel real. I did a bucket load of my long distance riding on an R1200R without windscreen and loved it. I also did some multi-day touring on an S1000RR… we are talking 300mi or 400mi days, but of twisty roads, not motorways. So I knew I had a good foundation. I have done a number of 500 and 600 mile days without much planning or pacing, so I know the 1,000mi mark is within my zone of proximal development. I have since upgraded to a K1600B, which only makes things easier. I have done a couple of smaller rallies in the run-up to work out the packing, routines and systems for the bigger rally.

Now it’s just time to pucker up and get ready for the real thing. Everything written up until now is in the pre-rally time. My wife actually planted the idea of a written blog, so that I could submit my write-up at the end of the ride and join the ensemble of write-up that inspired me as a kid. I won’t lie, it’s a bit cathartic.

For the actual day of the ride, I will run a microphone for some on-the-go audio notes… I will use those to make sure I have a full picture of how the rally went!

In the meantime, the route is planned; I just need to conclude an internal debate between stopping only for fuel or stopping little and often. There is advice in favour of either, so I think it comes down to how I operate best.

While I am here, I will give a breakdown of my loadout.

I am taking a trusty flip-up helmet which I have worn on multi-day trips before, so I know it’s comfortable long term. The flip-up nature of it means that I do not need to faff with taking the helmet off when eating, drinking, refuelling or talking to people. Given the time of year and start time, I will be taking a dark visor (with a clear one stashed in the bags); this one will cause some debate, but my take is that I’d rather not squint all day long. Wearing the dark visor takes the edge off the sun and allows my eyes to be more relaxed. Besides — there are days where I am riding with a dark visor AND flip-down sunglasses and the glare is still too much. So yeah. Besides, it looks good. Whilst on the topic of the helmet, I did replace its intercom. The helmet is a Neotec II with the in-built intercom system. It usually works ok, but the loudspeakers are incredibly tinny and unpleasant, so I’ve replaced the intercom with a different one that has much better audio output.. As a plus side, this system allows me to record audio notes on the go without any extra equipment.

On my person, I will carry just keys, wallet, spare phone, change, visor cleaner and an emergency powerbank. The saddle bags will carry food, drinks, snack, spare visor and the following:

• First aid kit
• Tyre repair kit
• Maintenance kit
• Tyre inflator (it’s tiny but can fill up both tyres from flat in one charge)
• Battery booster (all praise Lithium)
• Head torch
• Waterproof trousers, jacket and neck gaiter
• Spare battery bank and assorted wires

The overnight nature of the ride (as in, the hotel stay before and after the rally) only adds the following:

• Extra lock
• USB wall charger
• Spare underwear
• Metal flask and some cutlery (don’t you hate eating with those tiny disposable things they give you with supermarket meals?!)
• One t-shirt (not meant for riding)
• Noise-cancelling headphones
• Spare underlayer which should not be needed (praised be Merino wool)
• Spare gloves
• Spare balaclava

I realise it seems that clothes are a bit light. When I ride, I adopt a technical approach to layering. I start off with a merino or bamboo layer, for two reasons… both materials are incredibly resilient to bacteria (read: smells) so you can wear them comfortably for 2–3 days provided you have not been exercising excessively. They are also very effective at heat management — sweat is quickly wicked away from the skin, avoiding clammy skin and related unpleasantness/heat loss. Add a mid-layer to this made of synthetic material and you have an effective barrier to retain your body heat. The trick is in making sure the mid-layer is *NOT* windproof. This way, the choice of your next layer makes the outfit… If you know it’ll be very cold and your main objective will be heat retention (we are talking 2C with heavy winds), add a further thermal layer (maybe even heated) with a windproof layer. This way, the heat in your first layer is completely undisturbed. You reckon you’ll be having a hot day? Forego the next layer altogether. Somewhere in between? Have a zip-up windproof layer underneath. On top of all this, it does help to shell out on a decent jacket. I have a Held jacket made of Goretex which was a small investment, but… In the winter, it’s a small tank and won’t let much through. If it rains, it’ll stay dry (provided you add a waterproof neck buff OVER the neck). If it’s hot, the six vents will let all the air you want through; you can also zip the main zip using a different runner to add a vent up your whole torso to get that sweet sweet cool air in you (and out the rear vents).

If you wanted to go out to town, you would match this layering system on your bottoms, but I have come to dislike excessive layers on my lower body because it really kills the connection with the bike. So things are a bit more modular and require some planning, but to me it’s worth it..

Similarly to the top, you start with a merino/bamboo layer. This time, the added reason is to avoid chafing from the protection pockets in the trousers. If you are in near-zero temperatures, add a pair of heated trousers. Otherwise, go straight for your trousers. I use a set of AAA-rated Kevlar jeans with hip and knee protection. They are comfortable, they look like absolutely normal jeans and have seen all sorts of riding. They are not waterproof though. Showerproof maybe, if you remember to re-proof them religiously. So I just rely on having a pair of waterproof overtrousers and wear them when needed.

Gloves … tricky. I use Handroid Mk IV gloves for their feel. However they are only good for a few months in the year, even with heated handgrips. If it is going to be warm and *REALLY* wet, I have a set of Knox waterproof gloves, but they seriously impair the feel of the throttle. The best I have managed to come across are Keis heated waterproof gloves. They are good in the cold, and decent in the rain. However, I have been out in some pretty bad storms and managed to kill one pair (with added electrocution thrown in for good measure, as the heated gloves popped and sparked out of existence). Keis replaced them, sure… but not even an apology. And they kept it hush hush when I shared the successful customer story on my social media page and tagged them in. I wonder why. Given the time of year then, I shall take the Handroids, but I will pack the Keis just in case the Handroids get drenched.

So this is why I get away with one t-shirt! As they are made of cotton, they are hell to ride with (they get soaked, they get heavy, they get sticky, they get unpleasant and they get smelly). Therefore a t-shirt is only needed when I go out for food in the evening.

Space is at a premium, come on.

In all fairness, this loadout can see me through a week’s riding if you add some detergent and a hoodie!

Electronics-wise, the pre-planned navigation will be through the BMW Navi VI in-built into the bike, with sense checking duties carried out by Waze on the handlebar-mounted phone. Music will be piped through the on-board bluetooth stereo into the helmet. Everything is powered by the bike, so there are no worries there. The only concern is the intercom, but the Sena 10C that I am using can operate while being charged.

Stops

The Route has five stops, ranging from 1hr to 5hrs in between stops. These are compulsory stops where we need to obtain a receipt to prove we have been in these locations. The idea being that, if we can prove we have been in these shaping points in the route, it guarantees the organisers that our minimum mileage is what is required to obtain the award.

The question — do I hold off and simply stop when I need to fuel up? I definitely cannot make it with just these five stops, since the range of the bike is around 200mi (it’s more, but I am not pushing it) and some stops are 300mi apart.

So if we add stops based on fuel range, what do we get?

All stops are now within the comfort margin of my fuel range. And I am still finishing before 0500 with a couple of hours of headroom.

One more pass to adjust speed limits in the time calculations to match a closer profile for UK roads as opposed to the pre-supposed US roads that Basecamp is mostly modelled on.

So now the real question is……. What if I add some leg stretchers? Looks like I am never on the bike for more than 1.5–2hrs each time, which I can live with. Based on previous rally experience, I know I can make that work. Over the course of an entire day? Maybe it’ll be a matter of pace and keeping it consistent. You’ll notice that layover times increase towards the end of the ride — I am assuming that things will start dragging towards the end and that I will need a bit more time to pull myself together.

The next question resulting from this is… what if I trade the leg stretchers and time at each stop for one single nap stop?

I am actually not happy with this, even though it is supposedly the most sensible. One single sleep feels like too much of a point of failure.. If I cannot find a good spot to sleep, or I am too riled up, that’s spoiled. These can be mitigated by having a backup or a booked room somewhere convenient. However there is always the risk of a bad sleep; I know for a fact that I do not react well at all if I wake up mid-REM… It takes my brain a good half hour to fully push the clutch back out fully. Even if you take into account a REM cycle of 90 minutes, leading to, say, 3 hours of sleep with half hour to fall asleep — meh, I am not sold.

At the moment of writing, I am leaning towards the second plan with recurring stops and relying on being able to operate for 24 hours. I still have enough float in my plan to extend breaks if need be, and still make it back on time.

Now — if there are any fuckups with traffic or similar, all bets are off. I can only account for one shit event; either me flagging and needing more rest at my breaks, or major traffic disruption. If both happen, I am just going to ease back and get there when I get there.